We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
