Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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