I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
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