kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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