I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
