i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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