Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
