fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
