I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
