I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
