I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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