Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
