It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
