Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize