That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She announced her abortion via fbk
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
