You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize