why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Randomize
