I didn't shave. On purpose
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
