im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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