My friends, they love my intelligence
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
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bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
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We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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