True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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