Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I did not marry a roomba.
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