Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Randomize
