Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
