Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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