Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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