I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
