She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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