not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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