so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
