I'm sorry my penis didn't work
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
