I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize