You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
