i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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