she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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