It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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