I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
