did you get engaged???
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
