I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize