I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Randomize
