PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
