Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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