Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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