do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
