If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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