he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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