i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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