I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
