He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
