He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
