Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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