i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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