Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
