Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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