Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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