a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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