Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
