I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize