my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I am naked and annoyed.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize