For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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