Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
