Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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