Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
