You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
